About Communication

The way we treat ourselves has a direct influence on how we are with others. When we get into a relationship and become one part of a couple, things can either go well or they can head downhill fast. Alternatively, they can swing anywhere in between these two polar opposites. This often comes down to how well we communicate. When we learn how to treat ourselves well and believe the best in ourselves, we are more likely to see the best in others. That includes our partners, which means we will be more open and willing to understand what’s happening for them, while remaining considerate about our own needs and desires. But that only explains the beginning of what it means to develop good communication. Theres’s so much more to learn and know about relationships and what makes them work well.

Communication is not just about telling our partner what we want and what we expect from them. Healthy communication is a two-way process that involves talking and listening. Where this falls down mostly is the listening part, and this is because everyone wants to get their point across. Oftentimes, people want to serve their own agenda and don’t really want to know what the partner would prefer, even though they may say they do! Crazy behaviour, I know. However, this is what often happens. There are also those situations where one partner is very placid and doesn’t like to ruffle any feathers, so they stay silent and contribute to the problem by not speaking up.

I believe fear of not getting what we want plays a role in this communication problem. It’s easy enough to make your own plans when you’re single. There’s no-one there to argue with you or tell you why you can’t do something. If you want to do something, you just do it! Some of this still applies if you’re in a relationship, thankfully. However, there are times when you have to compromise and work out how your plans may affect each other. This area of communication is a mine-field and many authors, therapists and couples have taken up the challenge of trying to deal with communication difficulties over many years. We have much to be grateful for as we’ve benefited greatly from all that information, which continues to help us do relationships better.

My book — You and Your Relationship Journey — covers three vital areas to making a relationship work well. First, it addresses the relationship we have with ourselves. Second, it helps us to navigate our way into choosing the kind of partner we really want and need. And third, it provides sound guidance to help partners start their relationship off on the right foot or if already in a relationship, will help get things back on track and find an equal balance in your relationship. It’s time to spread the word as many will benefit from the gems in this book.